So people were right, The jump between college and university is quite a large one, not only in the terms of academics but socially too. In the first couple of weeks I’d say that I felt thicker than a plank of wood in some lectures and seminars compared to other people, somewhat lonely at times and I certainly didn’t feel as confident as I thought I would. Those who have been following me for the last year or so would know how excited I was about the whole university experience (don’t think I’m sad lol), part of me is still excited about whats to come but for now it just feels like a super rough. It is 05:00 and I am surrounded with books on John Locke and Thomas Hobbes and trying to crack my brains to write this essay as well as pondering how I am going to pass a French oral exam I have in approximately 10 hours time, oh the joy! I had to find out the hard way that I am not really going to learn many interesting things this year anyway, first year is to cover basics and basics such as how to reference and learning about WW1 and St Augustine isn’t as exciting as learning about global security I have found.
Admittedly, I have met really great and funny people so far that I am thankful for, I’ve have been on a couple of nights out that have been a blast and I have joined sports clubs that I never thought I would. But I’m not going to lie here and I probably am over exaggerating because I am in my first year, this semester, I have had more bad times than good ones in relation to grades, finances, health and confidence. In two days time it will be the end of term and I am keen to make sure that the next one will be a lot better. Learning how to manage my workload properly and early on, stop eating out and wasting money so much, taking more opportunities by the horns, not being afraid to sound stupid by asking questions and just to stop feeling like an overall loser. University has definitely brought back feelings that I thought I left in the dark back in high school and college, but hopefully in the coming years those feelings can go back to where they came from. I’ve seen so many people enjoy university so much and I want to be one of those people next semester, instead of being someone that spends a lot of time in bed feeling sorry for myself when I find something challenging or get a bad grade. University has been a bit hard and a big shift to what I am usually used to but I’m determined to still have fun despite these things.